Heart IQ Summit

Most of the time we're pond skaters
Skating on the surface of our lives
Afraid of our potential to heal/change ourselves
And our world
Yet so much more is possible for all of us
If we can trust and connect
To the deepest part of ourselves and who we are.
If we can claim back our sovereignty and our Divinity
To the deepest and most authentic part of our being!

Written in response to the Heart IQ Summit experienced live stream over the past couple of days.

Separation, Lack and Compassion

In our society there's a strong sense of lack, often of our basic needs. Lack is often associated with a sense of being 'less than' at whatever level it is showing up. We can feel helpless, needy exploited and deeply vulnerable to outside sources. Our current paradigm has indoctrinated us to believe that we're only worthy if we're separate, competitive and have what we need, often at the expense of another. That is why so many people are hungry and without the basics of life. That is why the planet is in the state that it is.  And our sense of separation fuels the belief that as long as I'm OK then it doesn't matter what happens to anyone else.

But with separation there comes fear, fear of loss and the need always to compete with another person, In fact our ruling institutions thrive on this. In this sense of lack and separation we're more vulnerable and easily led, manipulated. The media owned by the wealthy elite fuel this insecurity and separation making us believe that only this possibility is true.

But now other voices are coming forward, saying that other ways of being are possible. That we're all one, that what harms one of us, harms us all. That we need to listen and connect to each other at a deeper level to  not exploit, manipulate or fight each other. To be compassionate to another person irrespective of creed, colour or economic status.

And what I'm also seeing is a growing groundswell of restlessness and questioning around our existing social, political and economic institutions. More of us are seeing what doesn't work for most of us and are seeking another way of relating to ourselves and each other.

But to change what is here now needs a sense of community, of support and of oneness where we can all share in common visions and common goals. And most of all it needs compassion, both for ourselves as we go through this major upheaval and for all those around us who're similarly affected, alone and scared.  What can we bring to each other to support and enrich our lives and relationships with each other? Surely this is the question that we all need to ask ourselves. And also a deeper compassion for ourselves when we fail, an understanding of our deep humanity - to be able to pick ourselves up and carry on with our own authentic truth and Soul purpose

Brexit

This blog started as a rant. I needed to get out of my system all the grief and anger I'd felt after the EU referendum result was announced nearly 2 weeks ago. It's been a sad and sometimes hopeless journey, not helped by the spectacle of how some of our politicians are behaving in response to the Brexit vote. I'm saddened by the hatred and division that is separating us now as a country and wonder how long it will take for that to be healed.

It feels that some of the healing needs to come through greater participation in political matters. This can no longer be left to self-interested politicians who're privatising our national assets for their own benefit. We need to protect institutions like our NHS for the good of everyone. It seems likely that if we leave the EU we'll have to be ever more vigilant to protect those institutions and policies which protect us all whether it's the health service, workers' rights or the environment. For the most part we cannot leave this to politicians. That was why this whole debacle happened in the first place and all of us need to be involved, at some level, in building a country and consensus that serve us all and not the privileged elite. And beyond that we have to take time to find compassion for ourselves in the places where we might be hurting right now and for all the others out there who might also be in pain, regardless of colour, creed or sexual orientation.

Return to Creativity

It happens every so often - inspiration appears to depart and I don't know what to do. So I wait for something to emerge. sometimes give up for several months and then a suggestion from a friend will get me going on something new. This is what has happened in the case of the 100 Day Project - something small every day on Instagram is waking up my creativity again and I'm loving it.

Then an evolutionary friend sent me this and it's a message which is both very powerful and very poignant from Martha Graham to Agnes de Mile and speaks so strongly why creativity is so important:

'There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in time this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open . 

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work, You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you . Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased.

There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive.'

I have this quote on my wall near my computer in my office where I can look at it every day.

Rigidity

I am feeling the urge in my life, right now, to move beyond the limited perceptions, projections and hidden agendas I've lived in the past - and upon which my mind loves to rely - and to step forward into the void of not knowing. This is a terrifying practice for my mind which loves to plan and feel safe but these behaviours have just led me to a rigidity about so many aspects of my life. There is a wonderful reality out there to be explored and yet I feel that I've kept myself in a cardboard box of rigid perceptions upon I have relied implicitly and which do not reflect the truth of what reality is. Now I feel that the cardboard box is becoming more permeable and I'm seeing the possibilities beyond it and am beginning to reach out for what is actually real . . . The practice in this is to hold deep compassion and healing for all those parts of myself which are scared of changing and allow them to be and evolve in their own time.

Collage

For the first time yesterday probably I did a collage. At first I was apprehensive as I felt as if I was back at school and all my old judgments about not being good at art came up. But I was determined to continue to see if I could reach beyond the conditioning. I actually found the process quite interesting and can definitely see why people are interested in this particular form of art. The mixtures of colours and textures can be quite delicious.

So today, not having the bits and pieces I needed to hand, I did a virtual collage using my photos and the computer. It was a great way to spend a cold and wet Saturday afternoon!

Illumination

Today has been something of a revelation. After waking up and feeling hungry/anxious I did the 20 minute workout etc. Because it was a beautiful day I went for a walk rather than swimming as I’d planned. It was a lovely walk even though uncomfortable because of the asthma which was present and the wind, but nonetheless I enjoyed it even though it was tiring.

When I came back I was in a totally different space. It felt like ‘home’ a calm space where the thoughts, fears and emotions couldn’t get me. Yes I was aware of them but they had no hold on me and didn’t distract me in the way that they usually did. I also had a strong feeling of both compassion and gratitude for all the beauty around me which brought me frequently close to tears. It all felt like such a wonder. I also became aware of so many things at the same time. 1) I could no longer keep on pushing. I’d been doing this since starting my business and trying to get clients, signing up for webinars which I often didn’t turn up for, stressing about money and how to make some. I would push myself to ‘get out there’, to be more public so that people were aware of me and the products that I was offering. To be honest for the amount of stress I put on myself when doing it, the result wasn’t particularly good and definitely not closely connected to the amount of work/stress that I put in and particularly on myself! I realise I can’t do this anymore. My body/Soul doesn’t want to go this way this fighting reality that I’ve been doing in order to make a living. It’s too disruptive and too stressful. I feel that it’s now getting in the way of where I need to go. I need to feel much more into what my heart/Soul want me to do. It seems so easy but it isn’t really when there is so much conditioning out there saying how we should have a business and make it grow etc. I need to let all of that go now and just follow my Soul wherever it takes me. It’s as scary as hell to acknowledge that but it is what I feel I need to do. To keep on fighting reality just causes, stress, war within myself and general unhappiness. Following my Soul and trusting it completely feels more like ‘home’ and peace. The trick now is to be able to incorporate this practice more fully into my life. I have the image of ‘the calm within the storm’ which is based on a Heart IQ process but I feel that it’s a fundamental way to live. None of this is new and I’ve paid lip-service to it for years but now I have to do it for real; live it no matter what it takes. Meditation is the heart of this as that helps me to find that Soul/home space from which to find peace and direction in my life. I practised with the wind today. I sat in the wind, feeling it blow all around me, feeling the distractions that could arise in response to that feeling of being blown but choosing to stay in my calm Soul/home space even as I was aware of that. 2) The making of meaning has taken over my life. I like having a handle on the events and feelings of my life and therefore, given a certain situation, emotion or thought, will interpret it, try to find meaning, worry it like a dog with a bone until I can get an answer that will satisfy my mind which of course never does because as soon as I think I have a solution to one thing something else arises and I go through the whole process again. All the time I’m making meaning, often negative about the events in my life and living according to that interpretation, regardless of whether that is correct or not! So I’m feeling that now I have to let go of making meaning. Yes, a certain thought, feeling, or situation might mean something that I can predict and the trick here I feel is to be able to be aware of the possibility that events etc. could transpire in a certain way whilst being in no way attached to that particular interpretation. So this is to bring a kind of objectivity to my interpretation, allowing it to transform into what it will be whether this is something that I feel is particularly positive or not. My preference for what happens will have no direct effect on the outcome except to cause stress because my preference was for something different. So as well as being objective to the events in my life, this brings in the practices of Beginner’s mind, letting go of my attachment to my interpretation and preferences as well as being willing to see things as they are and not as how I want them to be – in other words giving up the fight with reality.

Another realisation is that spiritual practice and Heart IQ work is like mining. If we’re aware of our situations and responses we’re constantly digging deeper into who we think we are to find the true gold of who we really are, becoming aware of the dross and crap of our conditioning and deciding to stay firm with that authentic part of ourselves which can guide us through our Heart and Soul to bring whatever gift we came here to give as completely as possible.

Creative Practice

I've recently started (yesterday!) the practice of 'morning pages'. This was a recommendation that I found in the book 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron where every morning you take time to write 3 pages of whatever comes into your mind without any form of censoring - a kind of free writing. I used to do this years ago but gave it up when I started meditating as that took the time in the morning when I wrote. Now I've decided to start again though not necessarily in the morning as I feel that it is time to give myself more free expression in my writing. I'll let you know how it goes!

New Year

There's so much talk about new possibilities in our lives and it's true that we can choose to live in a more evolved and conscious way, starting from moment to moment and moving to wider perspectives
from there!